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Good bye LDS SINGLES. I am a "secret" girlfriend and I just can't use that site anymore. Every Sunday I get an email from them.... if Bryce and I don't work out, I will be devastated but I don't think I will find my answers on there.
Yesterday I got the sweetest smelling man holding the sweetest smelling flowers. Isn't he lovely? I would say so.
I love writing and I love that Bryce likes that I write about him. It is flattering that I would take the time to do so, right? He said if I was "playing the game" that he would be done with me in a jiffy. I am glad I am not playing games with him. Instead I let him read my blog and it makes me look like a bit of a open, crazy in love girl and I LOVOOOVE it.
I keep talking about our date and I told Bryce babe that I would stop talking about it once I blogged about it. He said, I don't want you to blog about it then. LOL Why doesn't he think I am creepy? I think he is nervous about me writing thigns on here about him that are bad. I don't really want to do that. Maybe I have a wider openness then others but I really think that I am good at knowing what to tell and what not to. ANNNND if our sins are going to yelled on the roof tops I would much tell you my side of things rather then that.
There are so many things I don't want to forget.
Isn't that soooo sweet.
He melts my heart.
We had our honey lime enchiladas. They were amazing. I will let you in on the secret recipe. Thanks Nat, you are the best girl. Okay, quick side note.
I LOVE NATALEY. She has been so loving and kind and a great listener. I have needed someone to bounce ideas with and she has been so available and willing to help me. I am so glad I get to share this time with her. It has really meant a lot to me.
OKAY Bryce. So he says the cutest things. He has never had a girl cook for him. He always takes them out and he said, "you are such a good cook, we will never have to eat out" Then while we were eating we were listing to music. Country music which I love. He was like I want to dance with you right now. He said it so fast I couldn't hear him and he got up and danced with me. MELT
He is so SWEET.
We got him all dressed in the shirt that I got him.
I only gave him the shirt on the left. He was so happy. He said, do you know the last time I got clothes for myself? Once again. Sweet heart. It makes me so happy to get him stuff. He wears a size 14! I need to talk to Amy and Cooper about where they buy this kind of stuff. My goodness! Online?
I like his shoes and my goodness shoes are pricey.
I love ALDO shoes... I am so going there. Found these online.
I love having a secret Christmas boyfriend.
SO we got all do with dinner and got him in his nice shirt. He wouldn't tell me his pant size so I had to guess and I guessed wrong and they don't have his size in of course. BOO. Order those to switch them out... it is okay. I am happy to have him. SO HAPPY. That is why I can' help but buy things for him.
SO! We are having the time of our lives together. We walked out to his car and got in, COLD. 12 degrees dating someone and holding hand out to the car doesn't change the fact it is cold. We got to the movie theater. It was nice. We got our Frozen tickets and some popcorn and Mr. PIBB. YUM. He chose and I am glad we shared. That is my favorite soda pop and we got butter and a tad of salt. He is so agreeable. We sat down.
He has a presence about him.
SO the girls that were behind us they put their feet up and as he walked in they put their feet down. All but one girl. Then they all moved to the other side of their isle so they could put their feet up.
Frozen was so cute.
Why I like watching movies with Bryce Babe
1. He laughs and laughs loud. I LOVE IT. I have always liked going to movies with someone who won't hold it in. It melts my heart
2. He holds my hand
3. Though I felt bad, it was SO cold in there. I WAS "FROZEN" ironically. He was like, do you want my coat. I said no I am fine. I don't want you to freeze too. I kept saying no and he said, Let me win this one. GRRR and AWWW all at the same time. It was so kind and his jacket was SO warm. Melt me. Love cures frozen people.
4. He holds the popcorn
5. He offers me a drink before he takes a sip
6. He lets me put my ice chunk (Grandma Blazs terms for cold stuff) ice chunk feet under his leg.
7. He tells me I am beautiful over and over and kisses me. (my love languages) I am going to burst with love at one point.
Then he noticed.
We all know I am friendly. As we were walking out I grabbed the door for this little girl I saw behind us. I asked her. "how did you like the moive" minus her being terrified by me it was cute
then I talked to the guy at the concessions. Actually I was talking to Bryce and the guy, Zak thought I was talking to him so I just pretended like I was.
Then we got a refill on our popcorn and I asked Bryce if we could give it to this cowboy guy who looked like the loaner of the group. Is that mean of me to say that. He just was so cute. I told him we choose him to give the popcorn to because he was so cute and had cowboy boots on. I wish I could have kissed him on the cheek just to make him smile because once he did. it was darling.
Bryce noticed my niceness and was so thoughtful to mention all the things.
It meant a lot to me.
I want to always and most importantly thank him for letting me be nice.
He could have been mad for me taking time to get the door for the little girl
He could have talked over or told poor Zak, she's talking to me not you.
He could have said no, we can't give the popcorn away, I bought it or whatever.
He is just a good guy. Really and truly.
After the movie We got home and he was teasing about wanting to go on a walk. I was not ready to even tease about that. We didn't go hot tubing either. We were just in for a night.
We didn't even spoon. He said he doesn't want to get to physical so I will know that he likes me for me.
So we pushed the couches together and we just talked. I LOVED IT.
Today my sweet Bryce had a great interview. I have been thinking about him nonstop all morning and praying for him. I really like him. We talked till I fell asleep on the phone last night at 12 AM. I like him so much. He makes my heart smile so hard.
One thing, I didn't think that it could really happen that I could fall in love and really be in love. Like the movies. I mean we have been texting and talking on the phone we have been with another Friday- 8 hours. Saturday like 10 hours. Talked on the phone..... my heart.
I don't want to forget how I feel right now.
I AM SO HAPPY! He makes me so happy. I love that I can be myself and not hide anything about me.
On Friday after he kissed me he said, I like you. I said I like you too. I didn't really know know to much but I did think I crushed him. I don't trust that easily. I kept thinking why does he like me? So I wanted to give him every reason not to like me. Nothing borrowed him. My soul was accepted.
Last night I was telling him about how I don't really trust. He asked why I am the way I am. I guess I second guess people. He said it makes him second guess me. OUCH. I told him through time I will just know more and more and then I will get so deep and let it all go.
I have those romance stories in my head. I can't get them out. I want that kind of guy that I read about.
I am trying not to read into anything. it is so hard to not read into it.
I like that I am not that couple on the subway who can only makeout and can't keep their hands off another. I want to talk to him and stay awake. I want to give up sleeping for him. I just wish I could chat forever with him. I told him about how I wanted to talk to him about RS and we attempted to talk about it 3 times but we just kept forgetting and talking about other things....
I TOTALLY watched him leave after Saturdays date. I can see his car from my living room and as he walked away he went and looked at both sides of his car. I love that he checked his car to see that it was drive able and there wasn't anything around. I love that I am number one creeper. It was that much more creepy as I saw him check his pockets and he walked back to my apartment. He forgot his chapstick. lol So cute.
I love that I told him about my blogs and that he read them.
It is so IRONIC, everything. First do I really deserve him? I think a few years ago i did.... maybe I do. I won't give him up even though I don't deserve him.
I am sure you watch movies and there are crazy girls in them. I am that crazy girl.
I went online and saw clothes in the BIG AND TALL, which is so expensive BTW. I found some great deals and may have bought him clothes.... GUILTY~
I am so excited about that.
I know I am a silly. He won't tell me his shoe size.... He thinks I am just going to buy him stuff. How can I help it> I am in like!
I was telling him.
When you ask me to be your GF, I will be 100 percent loyal mr. Bryce. I am already ready. I am not like this, right? I deleted my everything. I don't want contact from anyone. I have told all my guys that text me that I am into someone and don't want to chat anymore. LOL
I LIKE A GUY
If we don't work out, I am going to be devastated.
I woke up SO happy. I called my mom and told her.....
I really think things could work out with him.
He came up again on Saturday. He got here around 6 and I had dinner just about ready.
What I like about him
1. He is driven. He worked all through college
2. He is a college graduate.
3. He is passionate about life
4. He has hobbies
5. He is strong... mouth watering strong arms
6. He is humble
7. He is sweet
8. He is touchy
9. He is attentive
10. He loves my "strong personality that I show"
11. He is cautious
12. I like his laugh
13. He makes me a little excited about life
14. We both went to Georgia on our missions.
15. He doesn't like the games.... and he calls me. ;)
16. He has nice hands. I know that is odd but he has trimmed nails which I like a lot
He was a stunt guy for the U and now does it for Utah Jazz.
Here is his Linked in pic
His favorite color is deep blue
His favorite food is soft tacos ( I am not sure what that means)
He love cargo pants because he can put wallet in his pocket.
When we were talking I was telling him. I can't believe that you are in my life and you are a good guy. He asked me what I want for Christmas and I said that I tell everyone I want a boy friend. He said he would be my Christmas boyfriend. Shhhh don't tell anyone
Awww love it.
He has told me so many nice things.
You have the prettiest eyes, don't forget that I told you
You understand what I mean in my heart, not what I say
I like your strong personality
I like how you grabbed my hand when we got in the car
you are thoughtful and caring
He likes that I cook for him ( I am the first girl who has ever cooked for him, shocker, he is so appreciative and sweet)
You are so beautiful, I want to take your picture and he did.
He melts me.... I want to tell everyone about him.
So last week I thought that I was never going to find love and I gave up. I went out with some guys that really aren't the best. I was telling a friend. I am done with that hope that I will find anyone. I can't go and keep going to church with that hope I won't go alone. It is just to hard. I told her I was finding more NON lds guys were treating me better then any LDS non married guys. I do think there are a handful of nice guys but we really aren't meant to be and we honestly don't have a connection. So, was I going to give it up?
Friday I made a list of the reasons why I want a LDS verse a non LDS. It was silly but my friend asked me to do that. Eternal salvation and following my heart was the biggest things.
Potentially if I date guys who aren't LDS I won't get married in the temple.
So Bryce and I had been writing through the week. We met online and right away he asked me out. I said yes. When I was driving on Wednesday to the Aunt Laurie sleep over I called him. We talked. I loved his voice and his laugh. So hearty. He was calm and fun and didn't feel like he was being some guy to get what he wants. He felt like a real guy. At that point I didn't think much more about it then that.I just thought he was cool.
He is 6*5. I couldn't quite decided if I could manage that. We talked on the phone again Friday morning. I was super open... SUPER open. Again, super fun to talk to and very himself.
So, we were planning on a date Friday. I told him I was willing to drive to SL. I am apprehensive about guys knowing where I live or anything like that and driving isn't so bad.He said he wanted to drive up here and he could be here about 7. I told him I would love to see him around 5:30 especially because I didn't want to just be alone for 2 hours waiting for him to come.
I went home, primped and got my apartment perfect in case I thought he was normal then he could come over.
he texted me that he left and at 5:30. He called me. He was in a car out front of the clubhouse. I walked around. I wasn't polite. I didn't wear heels. Especially knowing he was a foot taller then me. I honestly have a hard time with his height. I feel like I am steeling a great tall guy from the girls who are tall. I am sorry girls but you are going to date the short guys, I connected with him. I can't give him back to the world.
Right when we he got my door and it smelt nice in his car I liked him a little more. We did a "Logan City Tour" yes, it was dark but we needed a little bit of time to get to know another. We went to Mo Bettah Steaks. As I was getting out of the car I couldn't find my handle to the door and what a gent, he was walking around to get my door. SO SO sweet right. Got my door, didn't make it awkward about paying for my meal. (which was super nice) We had so much fun. Honestly we talked but i don't know what we talked about. it was just comfortable talking and nice. I picked a place with not waitress because it is nice to just not have that. We both got chicken and pork, rice and mac salad. YUM. I used chopsticks he used a fork and knife.
When we were there he said, did I make the cut? Want to go back to your house and talk and watch a movie. I told him he did and we did . We turned on the tv for some white noise and date line was on. We watched that and talked and talked. I just kept thinking I like him. I really do. I didn't feel like I was trying to force anything. It was just natural.
When we were sitting on the couch.
Bryce said, "I can feel a draft coming in through the window."
I passed him a blanket.
Bryce laughed the cutest laugh and said, " Nooo, I was meaning I wanted you to keep me warm."
I laughed and slid closer to him. he put his arm around me and we kept watching dateline. We talked about his psychology classes he took and how interesting they were. How when he took a family abuse class or something and how the abusee will always go back to their abuser at least 12-13 times as they loose all their friends because nobody can understand how they keep going back. They learned how to deal with that if they are a friend. It was interesting and I loved hearing about that. Ironically in the show the lady being abused got him in jail and put for life plus 50 years and then she turned around and said he didn't do it and tried everything to get him out of prison. SO ODD.
Bryce then told me how pretty my hair was and he was really touchy, which I LOVE because I love touching. It makes me feel loved. He played with my hair and then we were talking and sitting close and he kissed me.
Right after two pecks he said, I wasn't planning on kissing you tonight.
I really liked that. I don't think it was absolute that we kissed by all means but I like that he wasn't planning on it. He was a good kisser. I loved it.
He said he liked me and that he wanted to get to know me better. He said I know you have lots of guys that are wanting to date you but when can I see you again. I told him I would make tomorrow free. So I told him I would make him dinner.
I had so much fun on the date. We laughed and talked. We turned on Bourne and I will be honest. If I cuddle and watch a movie I will fall asleep.
When he left he picked me up and hugged me and spun me around. It melted my heart.
She really is a wondeful lady. She makes me so happy. I love spending money on her because I know she doesn't ever buy for herself. I love calling her everyday when I am getting off from the gym and she cares about the crazy stories I tell her and as she says... my problems are her problems. She cares about me and she makes me feel so loved. DAILY. She is also so kind. She really wants everyone to be happy and everything to be fair. She will be the best person when Christs leads us. She will follow with her mind but an obedient spirit. She likes to do things the smart way. I really like this about her. We will talk about what is the smartest thing all the time and always trying to find that smart way. She likes to build me up. She is the reason I am who I am. She is my little person telling me to be nice. She is the person that when I see someone sitting by themselves I think, oh she could use a friend. She turns me into the honest person at the store when I think oh it would be easy to steal this, I don't because I am honest because of her. She has given me a heart and love for the people on this earth. Each day I want to be a little like her. I want to have those thick brains and wisdom. NOBODY gives better advise although I don't always take it. I do put in in my consideration box. LOL oh mom, I love you and although you will feel uncomfortable that I put this all on my blog, I do it because I love you. I wish you could have been with me for Thanksgiving.
I had it with the cousins. SO FUN
I played barbies, and I LOVED IT. My little 4 year old buddies ;) I played for a good 30 minutes.
This sweet heart came up to me and reached up for me. She reminds me of the twinners and I love her. It was so tender and kind.
Isn't she darling?
I was happy that this was the price and I PAID UNDER 50 dollars for gas!
How can I not play with this sweet little D.
My kindred spirit. I could kiss those cheeks non stop.
Little H made me so happy.
"Now say, I wish we had a maid who would clean our house"
She was so cute. She was the maid for us.
I also got to play games, which I loved.
I made the yummy pumpkin cheesecake. It was YUM! It wasn't really a hit but my black bean hummas was and I LOVEDDDD it. I hope you each had a great Thanksgiving.
Remember how I got stood up. I am not sure if I wrote about it on here but I was upset.
So a few months ago my friend set me up with this guy. We wrote on facebook a little and I just think it is a waste to just talk over the internet. He asked for my number I told him I was going to feed my snake and he came over to help me. We talked till 2 AM. He left and then we texted a little. Granted I thought he was cute but not to attracted to him but I did give it a try. We made plans to do something the next week. I told him I would make him dinner. I got everything for it. Ironically he lives in my ward boundaries but he goes to the singles ward. That day my friend asked for a ride to church. I picked her up and saw his car.
HE STOOD me up!
I know, what a stinker.
He didn't ever respond to my messages and later on I asked if he was okay, I was actually really worried because I saw his car parked there and I thought maybe something really happened and he didn't seem the ignore the girl and stand her up type.
So, my acquaintance just started working for the place that he works. Today is his first day. I wonder if that has any influence on the text I just got from him.
I need you to know something. I am sorry that I was a jerk. I wasn't sure how to handle the situation so I just got awkward and avoided it. I want you to know that it wasn't your fault that I got distant. I just simply wasn't sure what your expectations were or what I was expecting or wanting. I know it's lame to just text you this long after but I just feel like you deserve to know and you deserve open communication from me as that is how you've been with me. I'm sorry again and I hope you can forgive me.
So, what do I do now?
Maybe I should stop bashing on him and telling people he stood me up... which he did. I told him lets do something and Sunday was the only day and MAYBE that was a little desperate of me but I REALLY needed friends.
I wanted you to be my friend. I don't need a jerk as a friend and I have been a bit of a jerk.
I forgive him.
Does he need to know what I think?
I dunno.I think I will just wait this one out. Sit on it for a good month that way I don't do something rash.
What I want to write
YYAAA you were a jerk and that was SO inappropriate in a million different ways. I understand you being uncomfortable. We really hit it off and it was scary and weird. I think I wanted to slam your fingers in a car door or slit your tires... or ruin your name.... or make you hurt but now I am honestly over it. I understand that we aren't really meant to be but I could have used a friend. God has looked out for me and I have had a really great friend the past few months and been super happy. I wish you the best. Consider yourself forgiven and I won't say one more ill thing about you.